Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars
by TheRangress
Summary: A crossover between All Men of Genius and Doctor Who. Jack Feste finds himself in bed with Captain Jack Harkness. Violet steals the vortex manipulator, the Captain runs around trouserless, and much excitement is had by all in Chapter One alone. Rated for containing Jack Harkness.


_Chapter One_

_Jack, Jack, Ashton, Ashton_

_"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde_

Jack Feste woke up with his head pounding and blearily reached for Toby's

perfected hangover cure. Not finding it on the desk next to his bed, he reached into his trouser pocket.

Except. He wasn't wearing any trousers.

How very interesting, he observed in a rather detached, scientific way.

He looked around. It was also interesting that he wasn't in his room at Illyria.

"Hello," said a man with an American accent.

Jack looked over to see a very handsome man with messy brown hair smiling at him. "Er." he said. "Hello. And you would be...?"

"Captain Jack Harkness. Like I said last night." Captain Jack Harkness grinned flirtatiously.

Jack made a sort of strangled laughing sound and said, "Oh, right. My memory of last night is kind of foggy, actually. Mostly I remember a lot of pints passing before me."

"Well, that's a shame."

"I'm Jack, by the way." Jack said unnecessarily. "Did we meet at the Well-Seasoned Pig?"

"Yep." Jack put an arm around the other Jack's waist. "You were with some friends, right?"

"Yeah," Jack Feste slumped back on his pillow. "My friend Toby dared me that I couldn't drink eleven pints of ale. Why is your arm around my waist?"

"Because I like your waist."

Jack had never considered himself an invert. This was a fascinating new development and he decided to just go with it. "Oh really? What's so nice about it?"

"Well, it's warm, for one..." Jack Harkness smiled and kissed Jack's neck.

Jack grabbed the other Jack's face and kissed him back.

This was a pleasant surprise for Captain Jack Harkness. And one that led to snogging.

Just then, Violet burst in. She had an uncanny ability to show up precisely when she shouldn't.

Violet's mouth was a perfect O. "Not you too! I mean. Sorry, Jack. I... think I'll be going now."

"Hello," Jack said to her once he was done snogging Jack Feste. He was flirting, of course.

"Er, hello," said Violet. "Who are you?"

"Captain Jack Harkness." He slipped an arm around other Jack's shoulders.

"Er." Violet was befuddled. She noticed something on the nightstand that looked a bit gadgety. "So... what is that?"

Jack Feste glared at his friend. "Violet, go away!"

"A vortex manipulator," said New Jack. This sounded gadgety. She picked it up. "Don't touch it!"

"And why not? What does it do?"  
"Manipulate the Vortex."

Violet's eyes lit up. "Can I try? I promise I won't blow up anything."

"No."

Jack Feste grabbed the Vortex Manipulator and tossed it to Violet. "Oh, just give it to her, she won't hurt anything." he said, "Now, leave us alone."

"Give it back," Jack ordered. He removed his arm from Jack's shoulder and stood up. Naked, presumably.

Violet hastily averted her eyes and backed out of the room.

And Jack Harkness chased her, not even bothering to pull on a sheet. "I need that!"

At that moment, Miriam opened the door and observed Ashton Adams being chased by a nude man. She took this in stride.

Today had been very strange for Cecily. First she'd seen Miriam sneaking out of Illyria - with one of the students, to boot - and then she'd followed her to a pub called the Well-Seasoned Pig. There Cecily observed Miriam drinking with Toby, Ashton, and a man she didn't recognize. She heard them say something about Jack. It sounded like they were looking for him.

And now she had followed Miriam up the stairs to the part of the Well-Seasoned Pig that served as an inn, only to see Ashton, her one true love, chased by a naked man. No, surely not...

Miriam observed Cecily standing behind her. This fazed her. "Cecily!?"

"Miriam?!" exclaimed Cecily. "Oops, you weren't supposed to see me." She stood in the middle of the hallway, blocking Ashton's path. "Ashton, what is this? Are you an invert?"

"What on earth are you doing here, Cecily!?" asked Miriam, rather shocked.

"Am I a- No, I most certainly am-" Violet crashed into Cecily, causing Jack Harkness to crash into Violet. Toby was chuckling. "Not!"

Cecily ignored her governess. Once upon a time she would have loved to be this close to Ashton but now she felt only confusion and shock. And also his knee in her ribs.

At that moment, Jack Feste came running from the same direction, thankfully wearing trousers and holding a pair for other Jack.

"Give me back my vortex manipulator!" said Jack Harkness, ignoring the attractive people around him.

"Put on trousers!" rebutted Violet.

Miriam seconded this.

"Jack, are you an invert too?" asked Cecily, her eyes wide. This incident would be fascinating to write about in her diary. "...with Ashton _and_... I don't know his name. This other man."

"Captain Jack Harkness, at your service." He stood and bowed to Cecily. Still nude.

"Then tell me what is going on!" she demanded.

"And put on trousers," Violet added.

"This gentleman- Ashton, was it?- stole a piece of my property," he explained, glaring at Violet.

"I only wanted to disassemble it to observe its inner mechanics!" protested Violet.

"I see." said Miriam.

"Jack, _trousers_." Jack Feste said, shoving the pair into his hands.

"The real question is," said Cecily. "What were you doing with our Jack? Jack from Illyria? What kind of captain are you, anyway? You don't look like one."

"Those are two questions," Jack evaded, finally putting on trousers.

"Well, answer them both or Ashton doesn't have to give you back the vortex whatsit." said Miriam.

"Fine. I'm an army captain from the fifty-first century, and Jack and I just had a very nice night." He crossed his arms. "Now, _give me back my vortex manipulator_!"

"I want to know how it works!"

"No!"

"But I've never manipulated a vortex before!" Violet said.

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't!"

Just then, Ashton - the real Ashton - arrived at the top of the stairs. When his sister's friend Miriam had suggested that they might find Jack in an upstairs room with one of the maids, he'd just nodded and continued to calmly drink his ale. There was no need for everyone to go rushing off, he thought. He had enough adventures already. So after he'd finished his drink, he wandered upstairs to see what the commotion was.

He hadn't expected to see Captain Jack here, and certainly not with his other friend Jack.

"Hello, Ashton," Captain Jack said to Ashton, "Now, Ashton- Ashton's cousin Ashton or whoever you are, not this Ashton... Well. Two Ashtons and two Jacks. This could get complicated."

"Yes?" said Violet.

"Give me back my vortex manipulator!"

"Wait, do you two blokes know each other?" asked Toby.

"We've, er, met this summer," said Ashton. "Captain Jack travels through time and space with this man called the Doctor. In this thing called the TARDIS that's a machine like Pallas, only it's a... box."

"That's supposed to be a secret, Ash..." Jack grumbled, with a wink.

"I see that my br- cousin's tastes have changed from stableboys to captains," said Violet.

"How does he do that? Do they have aetherships in the fifty-first century?" asked Cecily with interest. This talk of time-traveling was almost more interesting than finding that at least three of her acquaintances were inverts.

"Carefully. And... what are aetherships?" Jack decided that the best way to liberate his vortex manipulator from Violet was to get her in a headlock.

If Violet had been wearing one of her new dresses with the deep pockets for tools, she would have stuffed the vortex manipulator in there but alas, she wasn't. It would have been a bit odd for "Ashton Adams" to wear a dress. She flailed around in the headlock while Toby cheered her on.

"Now will you give me the vortex manipulator?"

Violet elbowed Jack in the face. "I'll take that as a no." He wrested the vortex manipulator from her. "I like Other Ashton better."

"I like you too." said the real Ashton.

"Antony will be very sad when he finds out," commented Violet as she jumped and try to take the manipulator from Jack Harkness's outstretched hands. He hid it behind his back.

"Oh no, not this time, mister."

Violet pouted as her brother said, "Oh well, we'd better be going, because you're not getting that manipulator back. Were you going to put more clothes on, Jack... either Jack?"

"Oh, you like me better without the clothes." Jack Harkness grinned. Violet and Cecily blushed simultaneously.

Suddenly, there was a noise like a dying metal cat. A blue box appeared out of nowhere, and a man with large ears poked his head out.

The Illyrians stared in awe. "How...?" said Toby wonderingly.

"Jack, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" said the Doctor.  
"Long story." Jack Harkness entered the box. "Bye, Ashton!"

"Hey, what about me? I don't get a goodbye hug?" asked Jack Feste.

"Oh, fine... One second, Doctor."

He proceeded to give Jack a very passionate goodbye snog.

The Doctor sighed. "Now it not a good time, Jack."

"Which one?" asked Jack Feste.

"Both of us, I guess," said Jack Harkness with a grin. Ignoring the Doctor, he snogged Ashton too. "Does anyone else want a kiss before I leave? Ashton's cousin Ashton, maybe?"

"Um, no thank you," said Violet, backing away quickly.

Jack laughed, then gave Miriam, Cecily, and Toby cheek kisses. Because.

Miriam raised an eyebrow and Cecily slapped Jack.

"Jack. Going. Now." The Doctor pulled Jack into the TARDIS and it vanished with a _vworrrrp_ sound.

There was a silence. "Cecily, what are you doing here?" Miriam asked.

Only Cecily wasn't there. She was inside the TARDIS, hurtling through time and space with the Doctor.

_**((A/N: This will be a series of interconnected short stories, written in collaboration. I didn't write all of this, and I may not write any of some of the later parts.))**_


End file.
